Lo’ and behold, my first post! Hehehe.. Before I decided to make a new blog, I had looked up several other blogs for tips and designs and whatever stuffs I could think of that time, and had even asked (but more like stalked, and pestered) some of my friends who also have blogs for their opinions in order to come up, not with the perfect blog but, with a decent one. A blog that would really reflect the things I have in mind – however pointless they are.
And so, I have this really neatly designed, in my opinion that is, blog with a cool, sunny, warm picturesque beach on the header and my ultimately kawaii picture right there in the profile (haha). Even though I don’t know how to make my own template yet, I think the one I chose sorta worked out with the design I’d had in mind. So, in short, I was pretty satisfied with the look (ahem…)
(SFX: Drum roll…)
Then came the hard part… I was grinning like a fool, admiring my work (even inwardly squirming with delight), self-satisfaction written all over my stupid face when I realized that I have to post something (duh! Bugu uy!) Then, my mind went blank. I just couldn’t post anything. Well, more like I don’t know what to say. Should I start with a “Hi” or “Hello”, or better yet, use another language so that they’d think I’m smart?! (evil laugh) I absolutely had no idea what to write. My respect for writers suddenly shot up several levels. (Whoa! I said to myself, This writing stuff is hard!)
Does everybody have this kind of dilemma? Or it’s just me? I mean, I don’t know about other people, but whenever I write something that will eventually be viewed by other people, I have this notion that it will inevitably be criticized. So I try to write as well as I can (ha! As if) for as long as I can. For example, the time given is 50 minutes, I would never finish earlier than that. Sometimes, I don’t finish writing at all… (huhuhu) You could say that I want to impress the readers (is it working? Hehe..joke)
Writing the beginning of a composition has always been my “majorest” obstacle – uh-huh, there are lots of other problems – since the time I learned how to write (meaning it still is). Technical writing, I’m okay with that because that was what my training had been focused on when I was in college. But at creative writing, I’d be slaughtered by a fifth grader (mercy!). So I put on my thinking cap, sat on my thinking chair and thought, did more thinking, and more and more.
My fingers were set on the keyboard. My eyes fixed on the monitor. I was waiting for a muse to come. I guess they were busy at that time because nothing came. I literally stared at the screen for hours (I wasn’t even aware that I was doing that). Staring at the blank document, so white and so clean, intimidated me further so I went away from my computer and walked around our office. Still, I couldn’t think of anything (sigh). I was seriously troubled with my first post.
After several grueling hours of deliberating, I finally decided to do away with the I-want-to-impress-my-readers thought and just write whatever’s really on my mind. My friend said that if I continue being paranoid about other’s comments, I wouldn’t be able to write anything at all. She’s right. If I’m too afraid of other people’s criticisms, there would be no point in making this blog.
So, it all came down to this, my first post. A candidly written account of how I struggled—truly, I did – to come up with it (shrug). It might not be the best, it might not even be good at all. There are a lot of grammatical errors, and the organization of ideas is just not there.. haha.. my teachers and colleagues would be horrified if saw this bwahaha.. But, guess what, it’s okay. I was able to express myself. To me, that’s all that matters.
And so, without further ado, Blogging, here I come!!! Bwehehe.. (yeah right)
Anyway, that’s all! Expect more banalities from this banal blog. ngyahaha...
